Tea & Testimony

Tea & Testimony 4/27/2019

Written By: Joanna Metheny

Our last meeting was an intense one! The theme was Tea and Testimony, with two of our own mommas sharing their stories while we all got to enjoy sipping tea and noshing on treats.  First we got to hear from Amy Rhoten, who very bravely stood in front of us and bared her soul, while her daughter Gwyneth stood next to her in support. Like many in our group, Amy did not grow up in a Christian household. She had a rough time navigating through her teenage years, and like so many struggled with anger. When she was just 18, she met her husband (who grew up at Crossroads) at a party, and within just a few short years, they married, had a daughter, and Amy became a Christian.

Before becoming a mom, Amy had dreams of becoming a vet, but once in the throes of motherhood, her dreams were set aside while she focused on raising her daughter and homeschooling. She struggled with severe postpartum depression after her daughter was born, and in the ensuing years began to find her identity becoming more and more wrapped up in her daughter. After much prayer and reassessment, Amy was led to embark upon a new leadership role, but suffered a serious setback and to this day struggles with severe anxiety which affects her on a daily basis.

Through lots of prayer and support from her MOPS friends and mentor moms, Amy now works at Crossroads, attends school, and is beginning to use her experience with dog training to help those struggling with PTSD. She emphasized how important it is to realize that it is OK to not be OK, and that we are not meant to be alone and isolated, but have others around to support us and say ME TOO. Amy closed with one of her favorite verses, Ecclesiastes 4:12, which says: And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

After Amy shared her testimony, we heard from Nina Lydon. Nina, who was celebrating her 9 year anniversary the day of our meeting, had a much different journey to motherhood. Nina had faced some health challenges growing up, and when just 16, lost an ovary. Her condition meant an improbability of being able to carry children, so 4 years into her marriage, she didn’t think much of it when she started to feel “off”, and her husband was the one who actually suggested she might be pregnant. They were overjoyed at the news, but her pregnancy was classified as high risk, and she was given only a 30% chance of carrying her baby to term! Her daughter was born at just 27 weeks, 5 days, and spent 57 days in the NICU before coming home. Unfortunately, things didn’t settle down even then, and when her daughter was just 4 months old, Nina began to feel that something was off with her daughter, and they took her to the ER where doctors struggled to find her heartbeat. She ended up begin airlifted to Oakland Children’s Hospital where she had open heart surgery to put in a pacemaker, because her heart was failing. Nina shared that she was angry with God, who responded that it is ok to be angry, but you still have to have faith in me. Today, her daughter is as healthy as can be.

Nina and her husband received another surprise a few years later when they got pregnant again, and this time, she was able to carry her son to term. He was born at 37 weeks and weighed a robust 10 pounds! Despite a smoother pregnancy, and expectations of an easy postpartum journey, Nina struggled with things so many of us experienced: postpartum depression, breastfeeding challenges, sleep issues. She had no significant support structure to help her out, and became reclusive, or as she put it, a “hot mess express mom”.

Soon after, she heard about MOPS. She didn’t know anything about it, other than it would provide her a 2 hour break from her kids, and so she signed up. Through the group, she found out all the guilt, shame, and feelings of being a bad mom that she was harboring, were something just about all of us were going through, and that she wasn’t alone. This realization liberated her and allowed her to let go of all the anger she had been holding onto. She went from thinking “this is too hard, I can’t do it” to leaving each meeting feeling more refreshed and thinking “I can do this”. She reminded us that God knew exactly the kids he was going to give us before they were ever born, and reminded us that we were created to be exactly the mom our kids need, and that it’s ok to struggle, because we are not alone.