Mothering Right When Our Kids Do Wrong

“Mothering Right When Our Kids Do Wrong” with Wendy Speake (video)

Written By: Liz Morrison

Wendy is the mother of three boys, and as most of us do, she struggled with discontentment at bedtime. We are likely all familiar with the fight against bedtime with our kids. No matter how tired they are (or we are) they always try to find a way to delay the inevitable. Asking for water, bedtime stories, songs, snuggles, toys, and whatever else they need at that moment, can cause us moms to get impatient, and sometimes angry.

Do you struggle with anger?

What was a situation recently that made you angry?

After fighting relentlessly with her boys to go to bed, asking for everything they could, Wendy explained that one night she took a step back and asked her oldest son two questions;

“What are three things that I did for you today?” and “What are three things you would like as a blessing from me?”

These two questions helped her son to reflect on the ways that his mom had helped him, served him, or blessed him throughout the day so that he would stop demanding more at bedtime. This became a nightly habit that Wendy shared with all three of her boys and has drastically changed their bedtime routine. Her boys go to bed more fulfilled, and Wendy goes to bed with her patience still intact.

Wendy explained that when our kids do wrong, it is an opportunity for us to parent them right. In Proverbs 22:6 we are told to “direct our children onto the right path,” so when our children are pushing the boundaries and doing wrong, we need to use those moments to teach them well and set them on the right path. When we have children, we are not given an instruction manual or a guide that shows us what type of person this child will be, and they all have their own needs and personalities.

When our kids misbehave or push our limits, we expect them (or God) to change their behavior before we change ours. Our kids learn from our behaviors and the way we respond to their behaviors, so we need to look at what triggers our anger when we become impatient or our kids do wrong.

“Slow down, sit down, have a plan,” as Wendy stated. Identify what your triggers are and how you will respond when your kids do wrong, because face it,they will do wrong. As parents we will have a greater impact on our child’s behavior when we have good behavior instead of responding with anger, because getting angry does not help and causes a teachable moment to be lost.

Be expectant, because you will be triggered. But how are you going to respond? If we sit down and reflect on what triggers our anger, we can come up with a plan for how to respond in a way that gives us the opportunity to parent in the way your child should go. 

Slow down. Breathe. Take a break. Speak softly.

What will your plan be?

Now for some fun...releasing some of our anger with a fun game involving balloons and popping!