Embracing the Woman God Fashioned You to Be

Embracing the Woman God Fashioned You to Be

By Kathy Van Duyn

What to wear??? The age old question.  This past Wednesday we welcomed lifestyle coach Kim Nowlin, whose goal is to empower woman to fashion their best life. She is also the Assistant Pastor at Valley Life Foursquare Church, in Santa Clara.  She married later in life, and has been with her husband David for 15 years. They have two children, Olivia (13), and Adam (11). She is currently a MOPS Mentor Mom.  When asked to participate in MOPS, she didn’t feel worthy as she was battling WWMS (World’s Worst Mom Syndrome) and was convinced she had ruined her kids…who at  one point had had a temper tantrum in every aisle of Target. Once she realized that she had lots of wisdom to impart, and that she was exactly the Mom that God had picked for her kids, she accepted the challenge.

Kim has a background in fashion, and worked at The Limited, and most recently as a Personal Stylist for Anthropologie.  She loves assisting women in creating a clutter free wardrobe that will enhance their true beauty in Christ.  She regularly speaks to women's groups and has a passion to lead women in discovering their true beauty and value in Christ, and believes all women have been fashioned for His purposes. Kim’s desire is for every woman to discover how she has been divinely fashioned.

With humor and fun, Kim broke down how fashion works, and gave us tips on how we can dress with confidence… in what brings us joy…in our current season of life.   She encouraged us to embrace the woman God has uniquely fashioned us to be, and to create a wardrobe that reflects our true, unique style, even though the world often tries to tell us differently. She also encouraged us to read “His Princess: Love Letters from Your King” by Sheri Rose Sheperd, which opens the eyes of women to see themselves the way God sees them.

We are beautiful because we have been created in Gods image.  Our earth suit doesn’t define us, but we can’t walk around naked…so dressing ourselves is a part of our world. Spirit and style go together, and what we wear sends a message, and conveys our confidence in Christ. Everybody has their own style, yet the world constantly pulls at us and we often feel ourselves losing our own unique identity. We need to address with confidence what brings us joy, and what is appropriate to our season of life.  It is our job to make ourselves look good.

She told the story of a principal that came to talk to their MOPS group about education.  The speaker came dressed in a sweat suit and tennis shoes.  She was genuinely surprised at how beautiful everyone looked, and told the pretty Mamas that she had expected that since most were SAHMs they would be dressed the same as her ( What are we hobos?? was Kim’s internal response!)

Kim went on to explain about dressing with intent, and how we can narrow down our closets… as well as what kind of style best fits our lifestyle, personalities, and body types.

Dress for your Day “Sweat pants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweat pants. Kari Lagerfeld

She explained the process of always dressing with intent instead of defeat. We often dress by default, not with intention (nothing else is clean, nothing else fits, it doesn’t bring me joy …but it’s just easier)  We need to honor God and robe ourselves today like the royalty we are. Do you notice that the woman mentioned in Proverbs 31 is clothed in fine linen and purple, strength and dignity (vv. 22, 25)? It doesn’t say she puts on her ratty sweatpants and old T-shirt to go about her business. Daily dilapidated sweatpants can be a sign of defeat!! She gave the example of how on Mondays (which is her errand day) she intentionally puts on the same dressy pair of stretchy sweat pants, adds a sassy graphic tee, and some cute sneakers and jewelry, as well as a denim jacket or scarf if need be.  When we dress with intent, in what brings us joy…we honor the bodies God has blessed us with.

Dress for your Lifestyle “I’ve always thought of the T-shirt as the alpha and omega of the fashion alphabet” George Armani

How often do we open our closet and say we have nothing to wear?  What is really happening is we are hoarding all stages of our past lives in our closets, that possibly date back to high school. But similar to a Cheesecake Factory menu, the more you have… the more confusing it can be. You are better off having a small powerful wardrobe. We keep clothes because we think we will eventually fit back in to them. But even if we lose weight our bodies are not going to be the same. Or we think we might need them if we decide to go back to work. But God might have something brand-new in store for us, and our dreams may be different by then and we won’t need them. Sometimes we keep things because we feel guilty for getting rid of something we splurged on. We need to be openhearted and openhanded to pass our clothes along to those who need them more than we do. We can give to organizations like “Dress for Success” which is for women who need clothing to try to obtain employment. It would be a huge blessing to them and in return God will bless you for it and replace what you need. Ask yourself…Do I love it (Or does it bring me Joy)? Do I use it? Would I buy it again? We need to free ourselves to wear the season of life that we are currently in!

Dress the Body you Have “Body confidence doesn’t come from trying to achieve the ‘perfect’ body. It comes from embracing the one you’ve already got” www.stylehasnosize.com

No matter where you are at in your current body type….respect it. Use it or lose it,  appreciate yourself and don’t cover up! Learn to camouflage. You have heard of body types being described as fruit… pear shaped, apple shaped etc.  Since sometimes we  feel like we are a whole fruit salad, Kim prefers to use the following tips and tricks taken from “Fashion Meets Faith” by Shari Braendal, who has developed the concept of how to dress your body type using the BOD-X System

Body Type B • Balanced shoulders and hips • Gains weight in belly • Fuller waist or muffin top • Straight figure • Not too much in the rear

Never tuck in your tops – draws attention to tummy. Use caution with belts. Wear a wider one that is slung low across your tummy at an angle. The shirts and jackets you wear should always cover the fullest part of your body and should fall just below your tummy. Stay away from short jackets that hit at the waistline or just below the waist. Stick with a longer length jacket that falls right above the hips. Accessorize especially at the neckline. If you purchase clothes with shoulder pads already attached, take them out and throw them away. Stay away from slacks with pleated fronts. Wear relaxed fit or full leg pants.  monochromatic dressing with solids of colors near matching. Column dressing — wearing three pieces of clothing like a shirt, a jacket, and pants — is a great way to appear slimmer. To create a column for a B , match the color of your inside pieces (the top and pants are the inside pieces, while the jacket is the outside one) or keep them near the same hue.

Body Type O • Overly endowed bust • Rounded on top, bust, and upper midriff area • Full figure • Nice legs • Usually size 14 and up

The most important item in your wardrobe is a well fitted bra.. You most likely have great legs so show them off! Go ahead and wear a shorter length skirt that falls right at the knee.. As far as pants, look for ones that have only a slight flare to them. Jackets look fabulous on you. You will want to wear a ¾-length sleeve, so push your sleeves up if your jacket has long ones. Don’t wear wide belts. Prints make a full bust appear smaller. When wearing solids, add a jacket to your outfit to minimize your upper body.. Camisoles should be a staple in your wardrobe since so many tops seem to be low cut. When you wear necklaces, be sure they don’t fall on or into the bustline. Similar to a B , column dressing works great for O ’s. Remember, column dressing happens when you wear three pieces of clothing and two of the three are the same color or hue.

Body Type D • Gains weight in hips, thighs, and derrière • Narrow waist • Small- to medium-width shoulders • Minimal bustline • Full bottom

D’s have a tough time finding a pair of pants that fit both hips and waist. Buy pants that fit your hips and have someone take in the waist area. Make sure they have a flared leg at the bottom as it will balance your hips. Be careful not to wear pants or skirts that hug your hips. Stay away from wearing patterned clothing below the waist. Keep patterns and horizontal stripes on top to draw attention to your upper half. Skinny jeans are not for you. Short jackets look great paired with a flared or full skirt or slacks. Stay away from V-neck tops and opt for scoop or square necks. Blouses with collars look great on you too. Off-the-shoulder styles are wonderful and add width where you need it most. An important item for you to own is a pair of shoulder pads you can take in and out of your tops. Shoulder pads will never be out of style for a d because they actually help you out. They make you look more proportioned. Belts look amazing on you and have some fun with accessories. The goal for you is to draw attention upward, so get creative with necklaces. Choose colors wisely. Wear both a black jacket and black slacks with a contrasting blouse (red, for example) to draw the eye up and away from your bottom half. This is how you column dress and appear thinner; you create a vertical line with your outside pieces (jacket and slacks, for example).

Body Type X • Shoulders and hips are balanced • Narrow waist • Gains weight evenly all over • Ideal weight • Balanced proportions

An x body type is very balanced and, therefore, may have a hard time finding clothes that fit all areas of the body. Unfortunately, this is a problem for you so you may have to find a great tailor. You can wear a straight leg pant or jean better than anyone can. Wear them with a higher heel or boot and a sharp jacket or a loose-style top. Fuller tops always look better over skinnier bottoms. The same goes if you are wearing a full leg pant; pair it with a more fitted top. Skinny jeans are fabulous on you. Most styles of clothing will look good on you, but pay attention to your frame size. If you have a small frame, you can easily look overpowered by prints or accessories that are too large. Or, you can overpower your accessories and prints if you have a medium to large frame and are wearing accessories on the small side. Belts of all kinds and sizes will look terrific on you. Drawing attention to the center of your body is always a good tip to look your best, so use column dressing by creating a longer line with your clothes. Wear colors that are similar in hue so there is no breaking point. Add colorful accessories to bring attention inward and upward toward your face. Make a point of getting a proper bra fitting. It will make all the difference in the way you look in your clothes.

Dress with Style “Style is something each of us already has, all we have to do is find it” Diane von Furstenberg

Everyone has a style personality. Find what you identify with the most so your wardrobe is not mismatched…even if it’s on sale.   Buy only items that you are excited about and don’t settle and say “this will do”….you are too special!

A few examples…see if you can identify with any of the following:

Pure and Natural

Easy breezy cotton, jeans, flats, leather earrings, cute tennis shoes, oxfords, ballet flats, prefers things that are easy to wear.

Classic Modern

Owns a lot of basic pieces… Kate Spade, Ralph Lauren, J.Crew, Banana Republic

Creative Original

Can make anything look good.  Likes to show personality and mix patterns ex: animal print with florals (but always make sure one print is larger and shares a color)

Style Fashionista

Loves to shop the latest fashions and knows how to put it together with current wardrobe. Loves to add a great pair of shoes that pop.

It’s hard not to compare ourselves with others, especially with social media and the magic of photoshop. We all want to be beautiful in the eyes of others.  Don’t be so hard on yourselves. Only Jesus Christ can give us our true identity. You have permission to take care of your outer appearance. And with these tips and tricks from our speaker,  instead of yelling “ I have nothing to wear” you will be asking “ How do I look?”

The following is a fun quiz I took over 20 years ago…but it has stuck with me and I still refer back to it. k.v.

One point for each of your shoes

One point if you have a pretty pedicure and it is showing because of open-toe shoes

One point if you have on fashionable tights or leggings

One point for each garment you have on. If your garment has more than two colors, give yourself an additional point. For example, if you have on black jeans, a black jacket, and a multi-colored blouse, you get 4 points total (one point each for your jeans and jacket, and two points for the multi-colored blouse).

One point if you are wearing a belt

One point for each of your rings (wedding ring sets receive one point for the complete set)

One point each for any watch, bracelet, or bangle

One point for a necklace (if your necklace has a double or triple strand or is very large, give yourself two points)

One point for each of your earrings

One point if you are wearing glasses

One point if you have makeup on

One point if you’ve had a compliment on your hair in the last two weeks

One point for nice nails (They don’t have to be professionally manicured, but they do have to look taken care of. No chipped polish, please.)

One point for your handbag if you will be carrying it 100 percent of the time; if not, don’t give yourself a point

One point for a shawl, hat, scarf, wrap, or other add-on accessory item

That’s it! Now add up your points and determine your score. Here’s what your number means:

0 points: Well, you’d be naked!

12 points or under: Girlfriend, you need some accessories. It’s time to run out and get some NOW!

12 – 14 points: Almost there, but not quite. Where can you add something? Do you need another bangle? How about another ring? Maybe you need to paint your nails.

 14 – 16 points: Well done, my friend. You’ve got it goin’ on!

Over 16 points: Too much, sister! Take some things off till you settle at 16.

Take this “test” every time you put on an outfit. It might seem a little obsessive or time consuming at first, but I promise you it will quickly become second nature. Once you’ve done this a few times, you’ll know exactly what you need to look your best. And for those special occasions when you’re not sure what or how much to put on, now you’ve got a system to follow. You won’t look under-accessorized or overdone ever again.