The Tech-Wise Family

The Tech-Wise Family

Written by Joanna Metheny

At our meeting last week we were treated to a video talk by Andy Crouch, author of the book The Tech-Wise Family. Going in, I was expecting him to talk about things we all know, like how we should be limiting screen time for our littles, and how studies show kids under two shouldn’t really have any screen time (please no one rat me out), or maybe even the online dangers kids face today. But Crouch’s talk went in an entirely different direction.

Essentially, Crouch called us to examine if technology, like smart phones, and TVs, is helping our kids become the best people they can be, or if it is preventing that from happening. He cited one study where the #1 thing kids said about technology was “I wish my parents weren’t on their phones so much.” Ouch. Turns out it doesn’t just cause issues for kids, but affects the dynamics of the entire family. 

When thinking about raising their children, Crouch and his wife decided to be very intentional with the things they wanted them to learn. The two main things they hoped to teach their children were wisdom and courage. His definition of wisdom went beyond just the acquisition of knowledge and facts, to a much deeper knowledge of self, God, and the world around them. This is the wisdom he strove to give his children, and believes that family provides the ideal context for developing this. He discussed learning how to deeply pay attention to someone, and how deep engagement can only happen when there isn’t a device between you.

The second major character trait Crouch and his wife wanted their children to develop was courage. He believed courage was the end result of developing an array of skills. The more skills kids develop, and the better they get at them, the more confidence they will build, which in turn will make them courageous when they venture out into the world to try new things. He said the more kids see their parents practicing the skills they are good at (which can be anything you are good at: cooking, car mechanics, anything really), the more kids have something to admire and aspire to. The less they see their parents do, the less there is for them to admire and aspire to. Most people are kinetic learners and do best when physically engaged in the learning, rather than reading about how to do something on a device, or passively watching someone else do something on TV.

Crouch believes that in general, most devices prevent kids from seeing wisdom and skills in action, and that for the most part, they have changed us from creators to consumers of media.  He said the two major ways to combat this are by getting very intentional with our space and our time. He suggested moving all of the TVs and smart phones out of our main family living spaces and instead making space for creating. In their family room, they had musical instruments, a place for making crafts or putting together puzzles, and plenty of books.

He (and our table) also talked about how to be more intentional with our time together: banning cell phones at meal times, getting in the kitchen and cooking together, keeping the phones out of the bedroom, using time in the car for conversation instead of time to zone out on a device. He said it was hard, but so worth it, as it created wise, courageous, and grateful kids.

Overall, I’m really glad I had the opportunity to hear this talk. Lately, I had been finding myself more and more missing out what my kids were saying or doing, because I had my nose buried in my phone, not even knowing what I was scrolling through, and then getting super annoyed with myself. Crouch’s talk really hit home and gave me some practical tips not only on why all that endless scrolling is so useless, but also how to go about changing it.  

And some pictures from our awesome craft.....

Have a blessed day!