Beautifully Broken: Finding People by Showing Your Scars
Beautifully Broken: Finding People by Showing Your Scars
Written by: Liz Morrison
One of the hardest parts about finding your people is letting them see who you really are. Showing your scars and your brokenness without feeling shame can be terrifying. But what if being vulnerable and intentional about showing our scars could help someone else?
Andrea Nyberg spoke about being “Beautifully Broken; Finding People by Showing Your Scars.” She is a resident of San Jose, California by way of Memphis, Tennessee, and is the mother of two children. Andrea is currently a MOPs coordinator, has been involved with MOPs since she became a mom, and God has led her to a place in life where she is using her brokenness to help other women and be a light in their darkness.
Like a lot of us, when we become a mother we believe that our life will be filled with constant love and happiness and we will keep it all together, all of the time. Unfortunately, that is not true. A lot of moms experience fear, insecurity, and anxiety after having a child and we aren’t encouraged to show it or talk about it. Our social media feeds show the highlights of our lives, giving others the image that we are happy and “#blessed” always.
What would happen if we were real about how we really get through our days as a mom? Most of us are too afraid to let people in because we fear we will be considered not good enough. Depression and anxiety are a very real issue that so many moms face every day, but they’re too afraid to let others in to help them through it. We also convince ourselves that we are unlovable by others and by God because of how we feel. We allow our insecurities and fears run the control console of our minds which determines how we see ourselves and the world around us. Matthew 6:22 (NIV) tells us that “the eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light.”
The Japanese art of Kintsugi is the practice of taking broken ceramics and mending them with gold, platinum, or silver to highlight the object’s cracks as part of its history. It is a perfect example of how our breakage enhances us by bringing light to our scars.
Andrea’s motto is “Don’t shame: Reframe.” She explained that nothing is too broken to be used by God and that we need to reframe our pain through the lens of His love for us so that we see God’s promises for us. God doesn’t expect us to have it all together to be loved and although it takes a lot of vulnerability, we need to give ourselves permission to reach out for help and to be intentional with those around us that are needing support.
Call, text, or visit that mom that is struggling and know that your scars can be a source of hope and healing for others. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable and not be afraid to be fully known, beautiful and loved in all of your brokenness, and a light for others who may be living in their own darkness.
Here are some helpful resources for you. You are not alone. Depression affects millions of people every year, and there is a high cure rate for this disorder. Hope and healing awaits. The work is not easy, but you will never regret living into a healthier you. Make today your first step towards freedom.
What should I do if I’m depressed?
1. Get help. Find a counselor, pastor, friend or family member and tell them you are depressed. Be honest with yourself and them about your feelings. One of the perks of being a modern mom is finding help has never been easier and more convenient – some counselors (like me) provide online care. You could receive care without having to leave your home!
2. Get a physical. Some medical conditions, nutritional deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, and side effects to medications mimic depression. Ask your doctor to do a physical with blood work to rule out any of these possibilities.
3. Rethink your understanding of weakness. Asking for help takes a lot of courage. Depression will try to convince you that getting help is weak and makes you a burden to others. Depression lies. You are not a burden, and getting help is brave. Starting a road towards healing is the most courageous thing you can do for yourself.
4. Be kind to yourself. Depression feeds on negative self-talk. Put those old tapes on pause and make room for truth. You may need a counselor to help you identify the negative cognitions that contribute to your depressed mood.
5. Medication may be part of your healing. Most of my clients struggle at first with the idea of medication becoming part of their journey. In the same way some people need to take medication for high blood pressure or low blood sugar, others need medication to treat their mood disorder. There is no shame or weakness in taking an anti-depressant. In fact, the combination of the right prescription and a competent counselor could be life changing.
6. If you are suicidal, contact your local emergency room immediately or call 1-800-273-TALK in the U.S.
Celebrate Recovery @ Crossroads Grace
We are a group of people from all walks of life and all different backgrounds that need love and support to live the way God has always intended for us. In Celebrate Recovery, we break the Chains that hold us back from having the life that of which we have always dreamed. We focus on the twelve steps that help us overcome our life struggles and work toward establishing, building, or renewing a relationship with God.
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