The Ripple Effect of Sex

The Ripple Effect of Sex- Feb. 13, 2019

Written by Nina Lydon

“Luuuuucy I’m hoooooome!” We have all heard this familiar catchphrase at some point or another. It is the classic picture of a providential man returning to the home that his wife has carefully and lovingly created. Dinner ready, kids quiet, and twin beds perfectly made on opposite ends of the room. It is also not real life.

Real life is being overwhelmed by just the daily tasks that need to be finished. The household chores, full time jobs, and of course motherly duties that call to us day by day. Real life is counting down the minutes until your husband arrives home from work, desperately needing another adult to help you bear the load of life. Only your husband is also empty from a full and taxing day and is looking to you for a refill. How do we pour out into our marriage after pouring out to everyone else all day? As Melanie Quoted in our meeting “Arrive Naked, bring food.”

Francis Winslow, the speaker in our video, talked about the “ripple effect of sex”. She did a great job breaking down the effect sex has in our marriage. She talked about the four W’s of sex.The Whispers of women, the Wounds of our past, the World’s messages, and the Word of God are the four W’s that shape the way we view sex. 

She talked about the “Whispers of Women” in her own experience, hearing some of the older ladies in her church talk about sex as if it was a duty or burden. Saying, they wished they could have “affection without erection”. She also talked about how as she was growing up the only thing she heard about sex was “wait until marriage, don’t do it, and don’t talk about it.” I can totally relate to this as I also grew up in a very conservative household where the subject of sex, either before or after marriage, was never discussed. It was simply, don’t do it. Don’t think about it, don’t talk about it, don’t ask about it.

Francine explains that by making married sex seem like a burden or duty that the wife must bear, we take away the fact that it is a gift from God for us to enjoy with our spouse. It is a pleasurable gift created by God as a way for us to bond together with our husbands and connect on a deeper level. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. The definition of “cleave” is to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly.

So why does sex sometimes feel more like a burden or a chore than a divine connection with our hubbies? Sometimes we let the “Wounds of our past” or the “World’s Message” cloud our view of what sex really is. In today’s society where porn is running rampant and where every woman is expected to have it all together at every moment. We can lose sight of the real purpose of sex with our spouse. It’s more than having a super hot and steamy encounter in a room filled with roses and candles on every surface. You don’t need perfect hair and makeup, or even a perfect body. Francis points out to have a real, amazing, bonding, fulfilling sex life, we need to cherish sex as a special way to show our spouses love and not just a duty to be fulfilled. 

“The Word of God” is full of scripture that support Gods special design for sex. Yes! God wants you to have sex with your spouse! He designed the man and he designed the woman to perfectly fit together. He joined you and your spouse “as one”. Unity in the bedroom leads to unity in your home. Unity leads to fruitfulness in your marriage, your ministry, your family.

How do you create ripples in a pond? You have to throw the stone, you have to make the move, push the twin beds together and get busy. Remember that marriage is more than just the low moments. It is a perfectly designed partnership of two broken people coming together, sealed with vows, full of ups and downs, highs and lows, and of course........ great sex. 

We also finished with an awesome craft....a special necklace to represent the ones we love!