Using Traditions to Teach Values

Posted by Lynae L December 01, 2018

Using Traditions to Teach Values

Using Traditions to Teach Values- Nov 27, 2018

Written by: Liz Morrison

When someone says the words “values” or “traditions,” what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Maybe when you think of values you think of things like honesty, kindness, or selflessness. Traditions for you could be annual family vacations, things you do the same way year after year on a holiday, or something you eat on a special occasion. Now I ask you, how often do we think of values being taught or enriched by traditions?

Yesterday we had the honor of hosting Crossroads’ Executive Pastor Ed Applegate and his wife of fourteen years, Kiah, to deliver a message called “Using Traditions to Teach Values.” What better time than in the middle of the holiday season to get some insight on this subject from a couple that has plenty of experience? Together Ed and Kiah have five children between the ages of six and eleven and have spent years teaching and developing good values in their children through the many traditions they have in their home, such as honesty, kindness, how to deal with conflict, and knowing Jesus.

The pair spoke about the “Tradition Cycle” which visually explained that there can be values taught through traditions, that great memories can be made through those traditions, and in turn instill in our children values that they will carry with them throughout their lives and later to their own families. The three main values that Ed and Kiah have dedicated themselves to teaching their children through traditions are serving, giving, and having fun.

Serving

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

The Applegates explained to us that in serving others we are serving Jesus, and even though our kids may not always be racing out the door to get out and do service projects, they will learn to find great joy in helping others while learning the value of serving. Their family does a number of service projects as a family throughout the year such as Citrus Saturday, Love Salida, serving in the children’s classrooms during Sunday services, helping at events with Compassion International, and a project that they started on their own, Cookies for Cancer.

So how can you build traditions around serving?

1. Find a project that everyone in your family can do, despite their ages or limitations: Make sure no one is left out of the experience of serving others or learning this important value.

2. Choose something that would give you special time with one of your children, such as your Elsie’s child. Recently Kiah and their daughter Alathea served with Compassion International by handing out sponsorship flyers at a concert which was not only a great serving opportunity for them both to enjoy, but it was Alathea’s first concert which created a special memory for her and Kiah to share together.

3. Join an existing service project or create your own: Reach out to your church, school, or community to find projects that you can be a part of or create something that serves a person, people, or a cause that is important to you and your family, like the Applegate family has done with “Cookies for Cancer.”

4. Celebrate! Express the joy that you and your family feel after serving by celebrating what you have done together. Ed and Kiah explained that after Citrus Saturdays each year they have lunch together at In N Out, which has become a tradition that they all look forward to after a morning of hard work serving others in the community.

Giving

“It is more blessed to give than receive.” Acts 20:35

Giving may be one of the best but most difficult value for all of us, which makes it even harder to teach our children. Jesus tells us that it is more of a blessing to give than to receive, however, when someone asks us to give our time and money to someone else we naturally become selfish with it. Unfortunately, a lot of us miss out on the joy and the thrill that is felt from giving to others because we forget that it is what Jesus wants us to do. How then, you ask, can we teach our children the value of giving when it is something we struggle with ourselves on a daily basis?

There are so many ways that we can give to others and it is not always monetary. The Applegate family chooses many ways to give throughout the year to teach their children how joyous it can be such as giving candy canes out at the mall during Christmastime, taking a Thanksgiving meal to a family in need, sponsoring a child through Compassion International, and randomly giving McDonald’s gift cards to homeless people in need of a meal. Their children also complete household chores which they are paid for but set a portion aside towards tithing, and a selection of chores which they can earn “Cow Bucks” for. This also teaches the children that working hard equals money, which is a very important lesson to learn in life.

I know you’re asking yourself what “Cow Bucks” are because that is what we all were doing when Pastor Ed mentioned it. Every fall the family receives a catalog in the mail where they can choose specific items to donate to people in need. Soccer balls, goats, chickens, and clothing are just a few of the many things that can be sent, giving the Applegate children the opportunity to do chores that earn them special dollars, created by Ed and Kiah, which they can use to “buy” the items they want to donate. This not only teaches them the value of giving to someone in need, but gives them something tangible to tie to their good deed. This year one of the kids is donating a goat!

Now your wheels are probably turning with ideas on how you can teach your family the value of giving through traditions so here are some ways Ed and Kiah believe you can do that:

1. Plan and decide how and what you can afford to give. Giving does not have to be expensive, but it can have monetary costs such as travel, buying items to give, or just giving money in general. Kiah and Ed explained that they put money aside for special giving each month when they budget, on top of their normal tithing. This way they are prepared to pay for whatever they need, and can give as needed when the unexpected need comes along, so it is not a hindrance on their finances and they can give more freely and joyfully knowing since they are prepared for it. So many of us find security in saving our money “for a rainy day,” but putting money aside with the intention of using it towards giving can definitely make the idea of giving easier when it’s difficult.

2. Decide how you are going to involve your kids. You may already be giving to various charities or tithing to your church, but if your children don’t know you’re doing it or aren’t involved, how can they learn the value of giving to others? Involving our kids in what, how, when, and to whom we give to shows them what a blessing we can be to others through giving, which is a feeling of joy that they will pursue well into their lives.

Fun

“The thief comes only to steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

Serving, giving, and teaching values and traditions to our kids may take time, effort, and dedication, but who says you should not have fun while you’re doing it? God wants us to live our lives to the fullest, and that includes having fun! When we make teaching values and carrying out traditions fun we create lasting memories for us and our kids that they will learn from and share with others, just as the “Tradition Cycle” shows us.

Giving to Jesus may be one of the hardest ways that we give to someone else. What do you give the Savior of the World, after all? One example given by Ed and Kiah was their family’s Jesus Stocking. Every year they, along with their kids, take time remembering the ways in which they served or gave to Jesus by serving or giving to someone else. The kids make drawings or notes with the ways they gave throughout the year and place them all in the stocking. Then, on Christmas morning after everyone has awakened, they take turns pulling the pictures and notes out of the stocking and read them aloud as a family, celebrating all the ways they were able to give and serve Him by doing so to others.

Is there something you and your family do traditionally that you can use to teach the values you want them to have in life? Whether it is enjoying pancakes, pajamas, and cartoons every Saturday to unwind and enjoy each other’s company, celebrating after a service project, getting an annual pass somewhere fun that you and your family can go together, or looking at Christmas lights then drinking hot chocolate afterwards like the Applegates do, you can build unity and nurture values in so many ways by just having fun together.

However you do it, it is so important to be intentional when instilling the values that you are trying to teach through the traditions that you already have or plan to create. If you haven’t started any traditions, it’s ok to start now, no matter how old your children may be. Do not be discouraged if your children, or you, struggle to get out and complete projects, give to others, or simply do a family activity. As you all get started and begin to find joy in doing those things it will get easier and more enjoyable for everyone, especially those who are on the receiving end of your blessings that you give through serving and generosity. So what are you waiting for?

To get more insight on teaching values through traditions, you can read “Treasuring God in our Traditions,” written by Noel Piper, as recommended by Kiah Applegate.