"Reaching the Heart of your Child"- Meeting Recap
Reaching the Heart of your Child
by Ginger Hubbard
written by Nina Lydon
The other day I was on my own in the grocery store. (Pretty
much like a mini mom-vacation to me!) It was the day before Easter and it
seemed like the whole world was out, I was lucky to sneak away for a few
moments. As I was standing in the checkout line in a very crowded, very noisy
Wal-Mart, I heard it. The screeching. The unmistakable screeching of a
disgruntled toddler. It carried throughout the store and after a few minutes of
non-stop wailing it was clear the child would not be pacified. I watched the
mother carry the child kicking and screaming out of the store walking past
about 80 people, her face blankly staring trying to ignore the people watching
her and shuffling uncomfortably in their spots.
My heart went out to her and I turned to the mom behind me
and said “Man, I’ve been there before.” “Me too honey, with all three of mine”
she sweetly replied. Several other moms around agreed that they too have faced
the terrors of a toddler tantrum. They are unavoidable sometimes, a late nap,
missed meal, or just sheer three-year-old stubbornness, and suddenly you and
your toddler are having a showdown in the middle of aisle nine.
Every Mom has her own
form of discipline, what works for them and their household. Our speaker Ginger
Hubbard introduced us to “Reaching the heart of your child”. Teaching us that
children like all of us are born sinners, and that the foundation of behavior
begins in the heart. Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the
glory of God”. Ginger made the statement that we must get them to think right,
not just act right.
During her speaking session it was like a lightbulb went of
in my head. I found myself sitting there shaking my head (YES!) to each
situation laid out before us. Is your child Whining. YES. Interrupting. YES.
Being Loud and disruptive. YES. Tattle-taling. Yes, yes, YES!Also I know I’ve
been guilty of all the tactics we use to quiet a misbehaving or disruptive
child. I mean, Bribing or reasoning with my Stubborn 4-year-old is how I get
through a grocery shopping trip, and if I’m honest with myself a few threats
make it in there too.
Ginger Hubbard talked about Changing the heart vs. just
changing the behavior. If you can change the heart the behavior will change on
its own. Most children learn to behave out of a fear of punishment or a promise
of a reward instead of behaving just because that is what is right. Our
objective as parents must be drawing out our child’s true intentions by
listening to them and using heart probing questions to get to the root of what
is going on. For example, if your toddler is having a tough time with sharing,
the root cause may actually be selfishness. Pointing this out to them in a loving,
Christ centered way will help them to recognize selfishness in themselves in
the future. We don’t want kids to grow up to please man, we want them to grow
up to please Christ.
The idea of “Reaching the heart of your child” resonated
with me in this meeting. In our household we worship Jesus Christ as our Lord
and Savior. We know that he came to earth and died on the cross to save us from
our sins. Which means, that while we deserve the punishment of our sins, Jesus
stepped in the gap. He marked us essentially “Not Guilty”. I now as an adult,
regularly search my heart, my mind, my words, my intentions and my actions to
make sure they line up with what Christ has intended for my life. I had not
thought to do this for my children. I teach my them bible stories and songs,
and we attend church together as a family. I thought I was raising them to love
and honor Christ, but I wasn’t actively reaching for their hearts. I wasn’t
teaching them that their behavior also needs to honor Christ. I just assumed
the adage that “kids will be kids”. I am glad ginger brought up these points so
I can now teach my children, through heart probing questions and role playing,
to examine their own actions and intentions.
God has bestowed us moms with the most precious gift, our
children. It has got to be the hardest job out there, raising these small
replicas of ourselves. There are a million different ways to do it. It’s easy
to beat ourselves up for not being “perfect”. Keep in mind that He has also
given us grace in the moments when we feel overwhelmed and underappreciated.
His grace covers a multitude of our shortcomings and failures. His Love covers
us in all moments good and bad. So, the next time your toddler throws a tantrum
in the middle of a grocery store remember 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is
sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
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