Marriage Panel- Meeting Recap

Marriage Panel Recap

written by Christianna Gorbunoff

Hi Mommas! Happy Valentines Day!

Today was such a fun meeting being able to hear from our panel of couples answer some difficult questions about marriage and really dive into what makes a marriage last. Before our panel came up, we were able to see probably one of the most precious videos I’ve seen: children’s opinions about love. Their answers were so pure and simple but so profound. I think we can get so caught up in the act of “giving” to represent how much we love someone. Yet even these little children said it’s not a gift that expresses your love, it’s your actions. One little boy in particular was asked, “What is love?” His answer was friendship, appreciation, and happiness. Wow! I don’t even think most adults could respond in such a pure and accurate way.

Then our marriage panel took the stage. They consisted of Jay and Debbie Clark, Scott and Christine Stubbert, and Jay and Julie Cruz. Right off the bat, Jay Clark explained how he met his wife in a bar at a wet t-shirt contest! Although very funny, this really intrigued me because it made them seem human and relatable. Not all of us come from conservative backgrounds and may have a bit of a party past. But like Jay said, God gave them beauty for ashes in their marriage. Amen! Melanie then asked Jay and Debbie the first question: What is the best thing you can give your kids? Jay’s response was to show them that your spouse is your favorite person. This made me smile! When you think about it, if someone asks your kids what marriage is about or what kind of marriage they want in the future, don’t you want them to imagine their mom and dad and be able to visualize all the times they saw daddy holding mommy’s hand or mommy sitting on daddy’s lap watching TV? I know I do. I want them to want the kind of marriage that mommy and daddy have. And in order to do that, I want to make sure they are seeing how amazing a marriage can and is supposed to be.

Another question was asked, “What is the biggest challenge you have faced in your marriage and how have you overcome it together?” Scott Stubbert came forward to talk about his pornography addiction. And he said something pretty amazing that I think we could relate to so many aspects of life: when you feel out of control, look for something greater than you (God) to take control. How true is that? He is the ultimate controller. Then his wife Christine spoke about the difficulty for her in getting past his addiction and moving forward and how difficult it is to regain trust. And her solution to that was to love without fear. Love without fear of him giving in to his addiction again. Love without fear of their children following in those footsteps. Love without fear knowing God will take care of them and just focus on what God created you to do: love.

Finally, the last question asked to our panel was what 3 things would you want to pass on to other couples as advice in marriage? The answers that stood out the most to me were don’t sweat the small stuff, laugh, love deeply (intentionally), pray together, ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness quickly, stay humble, and sex! I remember Pastor Brian saying in a church service before that sex was created solely for a supernatural connection with your spouse. It’s more than just physical; it’s a spiritual connection between two people that deepens the bond they have. So, since it’s Valentine’s Day I’m gonna end on that note ladies! Go have some sex with your husband!

~ Christianna