My House- Meeting Recap

"My House" with Pastor Brian Hunt

written by Jan Jung

Hey ladies.  Welcome back to our blog.  I am here to recap our quick and fast visit with our Pastor, Brian Hunt.  He was with us yesterday in MOPS and shared a 4 week series that he taught at church in a fast 30 minutes.  I saw a lot of you taking notes and there was so much good stuff to think about, but yikes, my fingers could hardly keep up on my computer.  So below I am recapping the best I can and I hope that this might refresh your memory of the many meaningful things he spoke about that can help your marriage move from a good marriage, to a healthy marriage that will survive the pitfalls that can take a marriage out.  He pointed out that being aware of possible struggles and taking a stand against them early on will bless you down the road.
   
Brian opened up with a bold statement and I think the summary of his talk:  “… by building strong homes we change the world we live in.”  As Chip always hands the baton to Joanna on Fixer Upper, Brian has just handed us the baton.  The end result of what our family looks like is now our responsibility.  We have a part in the outcome.  But if we were honest we can at times want the position of control over the outcome, but at the same time may not be exactly sure of what it takes to get what we want.  Brian helped us take a look at the bigger picture,  of a few of the pieces that can absolutely effect your family.    Brian began by talking about our technology today and how it allows us to not only shop for ideas of what our home can look like, but we can also shop for what our lives can look like.  We look at pictures and get sucked into a false reality, but then want that reality for ourselves.  He suggested that we really will be much better off when we are ok with the reality of our homes and not the picture perfect homes we are presented on our technology.  
He used our home as a backdrop and introduced us to four areas of potential pitfalls or blessings depending on how we handle them.  

Area #1:  THE FRONT DOOR  This is the gate to inside your home.  Life is more full when we are welcoming to others.  We don’t want to just have a picture perfect home but rather have a home that welcomes others.
While welcoming people into our home is important, we sometimes don’t pay attention to what else we welcome into our home and family.  If we are not careful we can let anything come in, even things that can be harmful to our family within.  We need to pay attention to things that might tear our family apart, or fill their minds with hurtful ideas.  I loved what Brian said,   “Who we allow in, determines who is inside,  and  to evict someone or something from our house  is much harder  than not inviting them in.”  
He is warning us to think about outcomes of our actions, because our actions become lifestyles.

Area #2 : THE KITCHEN TABLE  Our lives are busy right from the time you say  “I DO” .   If we are not intentional about reconnecting on a regular basis, we will develop that lifestyle where we never reconnect.  Brian knows that the kitchen table should be a high priority as a place to reconnect.   It may not look the same for everyone, but in some form or another, we need to be face to face regularly.  It can be where you hear about each other’s days, and it’s highs and lows. where we laugh together, encourage one another, work thru problems together and have great teachable moments while establishing strength within your family. A family is only as strong as it’s connection with one another. So I guess, if you want a family that enjoys being together after they leave home, make it a place today that they enjoy being together.  Make sure they know there is no place you would rather be than with them.  

Area #3   THE BEDROOM  There was no beating around the bush with this room, Brian got right to it, SEX, God created it.  The God of the universe created a fun way for #1 men and women to procreate, but also #2  a way to connect and become one.  This was God’s intention from the beginning for men and women, and we learn about this in the first book in the Bible, Genesis 2:24,  “…For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  This is a sign of our commitment to one another.

(Brian didn’t dig into this aspect of becoming one much as I imagine it would be difficult for a man in a room full of women to move into this topic more fully so may I just add, that the idea of  “becoming one” can really be overlooked.   This becoming one does not happen just because we got married.  It grows over time and  I think the bedroom is important it helping this to happen.  A lot can be said here, but maybe for another time. ) 

Back to Brian…
He went on to say, that sometimes we use sex as a weapon to modify the others’ behavior,  but this is never wise because when this is done both sides always suffer.   We may use sex as a distraction or excuse for having an affair.  Somehow we think that sex is a barometer of success in a marriage.  ie, If we are not happy, then we have the right to do what it takes to be happy. but that leaves the idea of becoming one in the dust.  Brian read a portion of the first letter to a group of people in Corinth, Greece.,  which is found in the Bible,  1 Corinthians 7: 3-6  
 “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. …Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent, for a time….” to sum this topic up Brian said, that sex is indeed important, and needs to be protected for with it connection is renewed.  

Area #4  THE BACK DOOR  It is dangerous for a marriage if you have in your mind that you can leave thru the back door whenever things go bad.  Brian reminded us to keep working on the rest of the home, honor your word, and keep the bigger picture in mind instead of using the back door;  divorce.  Sometimes we magnify our problems and think we just have to get out, but wait, maybe they are not as big as we think.  We are creative, tough and can put up a fight to work thru these tough times. Remember we took a vow to become one in marriage, so let our words be the posture of our heart. Moses had the opportunity to tell the heads of the tribes of Isreal what the Lord commands, and in Numbers 30:1-2 he reports this:  When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said.”    Again, let your words and pledges reflect who you are. 

 
Area #5  THE FOUNDATION  What is your home resting on?    Happiness?  The truth is, this is a moving target and will never get lasting happiness.    Money?  We think that with enough money, we will be happy. but really, we know people who have money and are not happy.  Kids?  They can become everything and at some point they drive off to college and you are left with your husband, who we don’t know who he is anymore. 

 Husband?  What if we place the weight of our home on our husband.  They will crumble under all the pressure of all the responsibility of keeping it all together. 

Bottom line.  A bad foundation will alway crumble.  But at some point a challenge will happen and you are going to have to face what kind of foundation you have.   In the Bible we learn that we can have Jesus as our solid foundation, like building on a rock,  in Mathew 7:24.  There is no easy way to fix a broken family, but the amazing thing is that Jesus says He is with you, and He can hold it together, strengthen it, repair it.   He wants to help collect the pieces and put them back together.  

Ladies, I will close with the same thought.  If any of you are having difficulty with the pieces of your marriage or whatever, we here at MOPS want to stand along side you and show you what Jesus means when he says he will be with you.    There is no condemnation in our hearts for you.  We have had our own difficulties and know that this is part of life. But we also know, it sure helps when you can have someone come along side of you, and be there for you as you walk thru your tough journey.  We love you so much, thanks for joining us at MOPS each week.  

~Jan