Mentor Mom Panel Meeting Recap

Mentor Mom Panel Meeting Recap Thoughts

by Joanna Metheny

  

During last week’s meeting, we were all treated to the expert advice of our group’s Mentor Moms. Our Mentor Moms, which include Jan Jung, Kathy Van Duyn, Christine Lambert, Teresa Daniels, Kerry Harris, and Linda Raetz, participated in a Q & A panel discussion where they covered topics ranging from parenting and discipline to marriage and home life.

Linda and Jan covered tips on discipline, both offering up similar advice: keep things simple. Generally, it’s good to distill rules down to a small handful of punishable offenses like the 3 Ds: disrespect, deceit, and disobedience, and to also keep the end goal in mind when disciplining. It can be so easy sometimes to lose tempers when tensions are running high and little ones are screaming, and I know I personally can always use that quiet reminder to take a step back and remember what exactly I’m trying to teach my children when I have to reprimand them. Another good reminder from Jan, was to have compassion when your kids make mistakes. This is another one I struggle with all too often, and after hearing her words last week, I’ve been making a concerted effort to show my children more patience and grace when they don’t follow the rules, and to be much quicker to forgive them. 

Christine talked about the importance of making sure you are on the same page as your spouse when it comes to discipline. She and her husband came from very different backgrounds in regards to how they were parented, and it took a lot of heart-to-heart conversations before they were able to come to a meeting of minds. She stressed how essential it is to talk things through so that the children will see you as a united front.

Teresa offered up advice on getting to know your kids’ friends. She suggested inviting them over to your house, feeding them, engaging them, and generally asking lots of questions in order to get to know them and their families. Also, make an effort to meet the friends’ parents or guardians, in order to ensure you are comfortable with your child being at their house or in their care. Finally, she had a great tip that stood out to me as something I hadn’t really considered before: make sure to love your kids’ friends for who they are, accept them, and be a light to them. Interestingly, this also came up when Kerry discussed managing a blended family. She talked about the importance of letting all of the children in a blended family know that they are loved, included, and accepted, regardless of if they are birth or step children.

Kathy covered the topic of scheduling and really stressed being careful about overscheduling your family. There are so many fantastic opportunities out there for our kids to get involved with, but sometimes booking too many comes at the detriment of the family. She suggested prioritizing the most important ones, which could either be what the kids are best at, or what they most enjoy, and then narrowing things down from there. Family dinner together was also a huge priority in their house, even on nights with sports practices, and would often include devotions, as were Sunday family days which were dedicated to spending time and doing fun activities together as a family.

On the subject of marriage and intimacy, Jan, Teresa, and Kerry all talked about the effort involved in and importance of making your spouse a priority. This is another challenge that sadly seems to all too frequently crop up in a relationship when young children are involved. But our husbands love us, and they are the ones that will still be there, God willing, after our children are all grown and have left the nest. Our table really liked the tips our Mentor Moms shared on this topic. Ideas to strengthen your relationships: make intimacy a priority, or if exhaustion is just too overwhelming, it is essential to keep communicating with your spouse, don’t stop dating, look for ways to make him feel special. Teresa brought up the idea of making his birthday just as special as the kids’. If you decorate and have cake for the kids, make sure you do just as much for him to show him that you care. Spoil him.

As far as spiritual growth and passing down family values, there is essentially no guarantee our children will grow up to share our values, and the best thing we can do is to lead by example, and live our values. Several of the moms made time for regular devotionals with their kids, sometimes fit in around meal or bedtimes. 

Finally, Kathy offered up sage advice that we could probably all heed more: put down our phones. This is one I know I am guilty of, and sometimes I’m not even conscious of it. There are so many missed opportunities to connect with our kids though, whether they are trying to tell us about their day at school, saying “Momma” for the millionth time just because they love us, or just sitting there being sweet while they are nursing.

~ Joanna

What spoke to you that morning? What inspired you to change or start doing?

Our mentors are here for you! Just a prayer box, phone call  or hug at a meeting away!

Who liked their pumpkin craft that day? So Fun! Thanks Carrie and Jan for all the preparation!